Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
