let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
