Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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