Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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