Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
