This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize