dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
