When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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