Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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