you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
