you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
