I feel like I'm in dance class right now
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
