We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
