remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
