Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize