Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
