I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
