Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
