she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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