and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
