Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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