we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
