My Higher Power is John Stamos
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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