32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
