well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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