Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
