Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
