Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
