I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
