Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
