there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
