Yo dont text me then not text me
and she was petting her beer can
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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