just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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