In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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