it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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