Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Mom said you looked used
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
