Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just found puke in my bra..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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