whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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