I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
