well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
