It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
