His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
