i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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