I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
