i was born a porn star she said
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I party with great urgency now.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
