The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
