I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I met the friendliest cop last night
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
