when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
