At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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