I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize